Goodbye 2006!

I really can't say I'm sorry to see the back of you. After the initial high on which it started, 2006 rapidly became the most unsettled, stressful and ultimately depressing year of my life. Big plans are currently afoot for 2007, so stay tuned for that. Oh, and you can catch my best and worst films list here. I started it a week ago and saved it as a draft and so of course it didn't post at the top of the blog. Doh.

Anyway, Happy New Year one and all. Here's hoping that 2007 kicks 2006's scrawny ass.

It's that time of year again

With 2007 arriving on Monday, there are year end reviews cropping up all over the place. Starting with Manhola Dargis naming her favorite movies of the year. I have to admit I didn't stick around to find out what they were. Her opening paragraph laments how 2006 disappointed and there was nothing as sublime as The New World or as thrilling as History Of Violence. The former marks the first film I have walked out on in about 5 years and I never understood why the clumsy and mostly badly acted latter was so revered.

Entertainment Weekly have a massive year end round up on their site, covering best and worst of pretty much everything entertainment, as well as features on things like the most lamented dead tv characters of 2006. Rolling Stone have the top 100 songs of the year as well as the best and worst movies. Playbill are covering the stories and shows of 2006.

CNN have a round up of the major events and headlines of 2006, with the option to vote for your choice as the most major. Methinks the hurried execution of Saddam Hussein will probably make the top spot.

The above is by no means exhaustive of course. Tomorrow, the last day of 2006, will see my little review of the year as well as a movies top ten. I'm sure you're all on the edge of your seats.

Secure Mail, my ass

Two weeks ago, the night after a work party, I lost my ATM card. I was walking to work, using my card to put credit on to my cell phone and I guess I dropped it and, in my hungover state, didn't notice. So when I got home that night, I called the bank and reported it lost. Fine.

One week later, I received a letter from Secure Mail Services telling me they had a delivery for me that required a signature from me and me alone. Fine. They also informed me that they'd recently tried to deliver it and been unsuccessful. Lie. You then have to call or go online to reschedule the delivery. But if you don't do it by 4pm, then you can't have it delivered next day. I only got home from work at 9:30pm. As it's the Friday before Christmas, the earliest time I can have it delivered is the 27th. Annoying. So I reschedule it. My housemate isn't feeling that well so she'll be home when they deliver. The delivery window is a fabulously non-specific 9am-5pm. At 5pm, she calls me to tell me they didn't deliver. So I called Secure Mail Services and had the following conversation:

Me: Hi, I'm calling about a delivery
SMS: Yes, we have it scheduled in for you tomorrow
Me: I arranged it for today
SMS: We have you down for the 27th
Me: Which is today
SMS: Oh. (pause) Well I can see we tried to call you on the 23rd
Me: No you didn't
SMS: yes, we have it recorded here that we called your mobile at 11:50am
Me: No, you didn't. What number do you even have for me:
SMS: *reads the correct cell phone number to me*
Me: well, I had no missed call, no voice mail, no nothing on the 23rd from you.
SMS: I don't know what to tell you..
Me: Evidently
SMS: But we did try to call
Me: Uh huh. Just deliver my card please


And so yesterday they did. To my housemate. Who didn't sign anything for it. Whatever!

A distinct lack of festive blogging

So it was Christmas. I chose to pretty much ignore that fact. I didn't send out a single card or buy a single present (I have very pressing financial needs elsewhere and so in my defense, I was ordered not to buy gifts by people, which is fine with me). I did receive some lovely cards and a couple of gifts. The most thoughtful gift would have to be, without a doubt, the home made Christmas cake sent to me by someone I shall call Pattifan. It looked beautiful, it tastes amazing and it was accompanied by the most heartfelt message imaginable.

The actual day itself passed in a food filled haze. Work and financial constraints meant I stayed home with the crippled lesbian housemate. She's also one of my closest friends and has been for the 12 years I have known her. We decided when it came to cooking we would have the laziest Christmas ever, and if you couldn't peel the cellophane off and put it in the oven, we weren't having it. We went for the high end of that kind of convenience food, with a joint of pork, wrapped in parma ham, stuffed with cranberries and apricots. We ate at 4pm with all the trimmings and I wasn't truly hungry again until 6pm on the 26th. Fantastic.

It's not that I'm all grinchy and hate Christmas or anything (unlike a certain Dirk Mancuso), my decision to allow Christmas to pass me by was made for the previously mentioned financial reasons. A full blog entry explaining them in more detail will be coming up.

Having seen Eragon on the 22nd, I dragged myself from the flat on the 26th to see Perfume: Story Of A Murderer. The former was worse than I thought it was going to be, rather than being Dragonheart, it was more King Arthur with dragons. Rubbish. And some horrible HORRIBLE acting to boot. The latter was worth seeing for an intense performance from Ben Whishaw (who is very pretty but also distractingly, alarmingly thin) and as a whole the film is never dull to look at. But the source novel isn't actually all that great and the adaptation here is hardly the most dazzling. I am not a fan of Tom Tywker (I am one of the few people on the planet who absolutely loathed Run Lola Run) so I guess it's not overly shocking I found this to be so middling. But the main reason to see it was Whishaw and he didn't disappoint.

So, that was my festive season, how was everyone else's?

PCB's Best and Worst Films of 2006*†

Here is my take on the best and worst cinematic experiences of 2006. Tellingly, it was a lot tougher scraping ten films together I enjoyed than the ten I didn't. Without any further ado....


Best Films of 2006

1. Pan's Labyrinth
2. Shortbus
3. The Departed
4. Red Road
5. United 93
6. The Three Burials Of Melqiades Estrada
7. Hard Candy
8. The Queen
9. Superman Returns
10. The Prestige

Worst Films of 2006

1. Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man's Chest
2. The Da Vinci Code
3. Hostel
4. Poseidon
5. Basic Instinct 2
6. The Hills Have Eyes
7. Brick
8. Derailed
9. The Grudge 2
10. Deja Vu


*only compiled from films actually seen in the cinema during 2006, so admittedly, it's not that comprehensive a list. One of the resolutions for 2007 is to get back to the cinema more.

†Lists compiled on New Year's Eve. Entry started on Christmas Eve by listing all films I had seen from IMDb and saving it as a draft entry.

Harry Potter Book 7

Ah so it's The Deathly Hallows, is it? Interesting. Hopefully this means the transition from cutesy pre-teen to young adult is now complete. After the disappointment of Order Of The Phoenix (how they're going to make a movie out of it that's even remotely interesting is anybody's guess), I really very much enjoyed Half Blood Prince and the "all bets are off" ending is the absolute best thing Rowling could have done as the lead in for the grand finale.

Google scares me, part deux

It's weird. My blog can go over a week without anyone stumbling over some part of it with any kind of a google search. But just lately, people have gone crazy. Since my previous update, the following google searches have found me:

He was in bed with my sister-wife
Julia Stiles laxative
free rinko kikuchi nude photo full frontal
fat lesbian pics

There's also been a surge of people looking for Chad Michael Murray's cock lately. Are there naked pics of him somewhere I don't know about?

TMI Tuesday on a Thursday

Even though it feels like Friday SO MUCH today! Man tomorrow is going to suck when I wake up and think for a brief moment that it's Saturday. Ah well.

Anyway, the TMI Tuesday folks have posted their latest questionnaire, so I thought it would be rude not to answer it. So here it is.

1. Is it better to give or receive? We’re talking sex aren’t we? Well then I’m gonna have to say that for me it’s better to receive.

2. What is the most sensitive part on a man/woman's body? Surely this is different for everybody, no? It could be anything from the back of the knee, to the nape of the neck. But the cockhead is generally the most sensitive part I’ve encountered.

3. What is the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to you during sex? (Queefed? Family walked in? Couldn't get it up?) I’ve been quite lucky in this regard. I’ve not had any truly embarrassing, dear God please kill me now moments while I’ve been doing the nasty (or having the nasty done to me, whichever). But it’s never fun when it’s not so much a case of can’t get it up but can’t finish it off. A couple of times my orgasm has stubbornly refused to make an appearance no matter what. Which is more frustrating than embarrassing really.

4. Do you like to talk dirty during sex? How dirty does it get? Example! ;) Are you kidding? It’s one of my most favourite things, but again, I prefer the dirty talking to be done to me, rather than do any of it myself. That’s understandable, given how my favourite sexual activity makes talking a little difficult. And I like it seriously dirty. Bad approximations of porn talk do not fly well with PCB. If anyone ever says “oh yeah you like that don’t you?” they’d be shown the door so fast! Can’t think of a specific example though I’m afraid.

5. What do you really want for Christmas? Vibrator? Spanking? Well a gang bang or a spit roast would be fun, but I really wouldn’t mind a boyfriend either.

Bonus (as in optional): How often do you masturbate? Oh at LEAST once a day. My sex drive is ridiculous and has been for the last 17 years, pretty much. Very occasionally I lose the urge for a day or two but it's rare. The longest ever was a week right before I turned thirty. I guess it did something to me as my sex drive was dead. DEAD. If it hadn't been, a week without a wank would have probably killed me.

Movies on the PCB Radar: January 2007

Ah, January. Over in the US, it's a month littered with bad movies. Studios use the frozen wasteland of the month to dump films that would have little or no hope of making a dent in the box office at any other time of the year. However, over here in the UK, it's the time when we start to see the big movies that have all the awards buzz about them. Generally, you can't move at the start of the year without hitting a movie that has a Golden Globe nomination and tons of Oscar buzz. We do get some shit too, though. But it's mixed in with a whole heap of good stuff. So:

January 5th.





See? Robert Altman's final film makes it to these shores, along with Mel Gibson's Golden Globe nominated obscure language gorefest. And then there's Renee Zellwegger in a film that looks so classy I'm surprised it only has the one nomination for her performance so far.

January 12th






And this is my point about having shit mixed in with the great. Smokin' Aces won't be troubling anybody when awards season really kicks in and judging by the incoherent trailer, it's being released here in the hope that nobody notices how shit it is. That said, there are some fun people in the cast and I will still see it. I really hate the Running With Scissors poster, the film got wildly mixed reviews and died in the US, but I would see Annette Benning in anything and she's already being nominated for her performance here. Presumably she's grateful that Hilary Swank doesn't have a movie in contention. Last King Of Scotland is a must see not only for Whitaker but also James McAvoy who can do no wrong and uses his actual accent for the first time in a movie. As for Happyness I've already blogged how the trailer makes me glad I am not diabetic so whether or not I end up seeing the movie is anybody's guess.

Jan 19th








See, more shit mixed with greatness. I've been dying to see Babel for months now and have already missed two chances to see it so finally I'll be seeing it here. Black Book is Paul Verhoeven's critically lauded WWII movie, all the more shocking coming from the director of Showgirls. Infamous may well be the victim of bad timing, coming after the immaculately acted and directed Capote. Nobody needs to see Sandra Bullock as Harper Lee, though Daniel Criag's performance will undoubtedly be worth catching. And then there's Rocky Balboa. Opening this weekend to surprisingly strong reviews in the US, this franchise should have been retired a good twenty years ago. And if that wasn't enough, a new Rambo movie is starting shooting soon. Could someone please tell Sylvester Stallone to act his age? And while they're at it, could they tell Sarah Michelle Gellar to stop appearing in remakes of The Grudge?

Jan 26th







And so we round out the month with obscurity, controversy, greatness and shitness. Venus actually looks like it might be annoying more than anything else, but Vanessa Redgrave is always worth watching. Old Joy looks interesting but nobody has heard of it. Bobby has a cast of thousands and a Golden Globe nod for Best Pic, but was also recently given the title of Rolling Stone's Worst Film Of The Year. Blood Diamond comes soaked with several different controversies, none of them revolving around Leo's terrible South African accent, inexplicably. And finally, Darren Aronofsky's much delayed and very troubled Fountain. Given the ridiculously expansive storyline and the insanely truncated running time, I don't see how this can be even approaching coherent. I'm willing to give it a try though, not least because I do love Rachel Weisz so very much.

Our bathroom has no heating

None at all. Of any kind. And so when it's only 30 degrees outside (that's minus 1 in Celsius speak), it makes getting out of the shower just the wrong side of really no fun at all.

Tony Scott has no sense of irony

It can be the only explanation for making a film that doesn’t contain a single original element and calling it Déjà Vu.

It was really very bad, much worse than I was expecting it to be. The plot made absolutely no sense whatsoever for a start. There is a whole lot of debate raging over on IMDb right now about the various timelines the film has or may have. There is a very big school of thought that there is a whole chunk of stuff that takes place prior to the opening credits that can be pieced together as the film goes along. Uh, I think you’re crediting the writers a little too much there. The plot, such as it is, has numerous holes through which one could easily drive a truck and the time travel element of it simply fails to work. When making a film that deals in the notion of time travel and altering the past, you’re going to require a lot of disbelief suspension. It’s only possible if the film you’re watching is coherent and has some kind of internal logic. This is not that film.

Denzel looks bored, he’s barely even trying to disguise the fact he’s wondering what he’s doing in this shit. None of the other characters are even one dimensional, let alone two (one of the technical people dealing with the time travel McGuffin seems to serve the sole purpose of saying “address is in range” and then crying when things get a bit violent). Actually, I take that back. Adam Goldberg manages to deliver his dialogue like he really means AND understands it. Given that one of his lines actually says something like “warp the very fabric of space”, that’s no mean feat. Jesus (that’s Jim Caviziel to me and you) plays the terrorist bad guy. It’s interesting that filming a love scene is offensive to his Christian values, yet blowing up ferries, setting people on fire and waving around machine guns is fine because his character spouts some nonsense about God and destiny.

So in short, best to avoid this one.

Eric Dane is officially hot

The Dreamcaps forum had a poll to find the hottest moment on TV in 2006. The winning scene was Eric Dane emerging from the shower in Grey's Anatomy. And honestly, who can blame them. I mean, look at him.



And clearly having him enter the scene whilst still wrapping himself in the towel was the genius moment that tipped the voting. Delicious.

Google scares me

More specifically, the stuff people type into google that brings them to my blog can scare me. There is the expected stuff. My recent John Barrowman entry brought me a lot of traffic, thanks to both being linked on film experience and the google searches involving his name and another specific (wedding, attitude and cock, to be precise). And people have found my blog searching for golden globes, bed midbeams (enduringly popular, that one, clearly Ikea and their stupid bed midbeam idea suckers in a lot of people) and celebrity bulges. All of those are to be expected, right? What I was not expecting was someone to land on my blog by googling the following:

Kicked to death stilettos.

I kid you not, gentle readers. I don't know what's more frightening. The fact that someone actually searched for that phrase or that a combination of those words were found on my blog. You be the judge.

Supernatural bulging

God bless you, queerclick. I was perusing their site this morning and found these pics of Jensen Ackles all but busting out of his dress pants. Supernatural is a treat as both he and Mr Paladecki are just so easy to look at anyway, but this little photo set is a much bigger treat. Enjoy.




Edited to say: wow the pics came out small, despite using the "large"option (ahem) when I uploaded them. Clicking on the image enlarges it sufficiently though (ahem).

PCB and GG Nominations

The nominations are out for the Golden Globes. What follows is a long list of them, with my thoughts and comments. Enjoy.

Best film - Drama
Babel

The big winner in terms of nominees, but will it win out on the night? I can’t comment as this was the other movie I had to give up a ticket for when I went to NYC recently. It opens in the UK next month.

The Departed

An amazing film. Looks like my prediction of it being overlooked at awards time was wrong.

Little Children

Didn't see it. Am dying to and will see it the instant it's out on DVD.

The Queen

A very very good if not entirely great film. I think it’s getting a lot of the attention for its subject matter and its performances rather than the finished product

Bobby

Doesn't open in the UK until January so again I have no comment.


Best film - Musical Or Comedy

Borat

UGH

Little Miss Sunshine

Another film I managed to miss, much to my chagrin. Nobody who saw it has a bad word to say about it so it would be nice if this was the little film that could and picked up the award on the night.

Dreamgirls

However, if this film doesn't walk off with the big prize, I will be shocked.

The Devil Wears Prada

Not overly sure the film as a whole merits a nomination. Yes it's cute and yes it's funny but really.

Thank You For Smoking

Another film that passed me by. For some reason I really couldn't be bothered to drag myself to the movies much over the summer.

Best director - film

Clint Eastwood - Flags of Our Fathers
Clint Eastwood - Letters from Iwo Jima

So Clint gets two nominations for director. And yet Flags wasn't considered good enough for a Best Picture nod? Man, I bet Martin Scorcese hates him. Chances are though the dual nominations will end up cancelling each other out.

Stephen Frears - The Queen

I seriously doubt he's in with a shot of winning but the direction of the movie is brilliantly understated so it's a deserved nomination.

Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu - Babel

If only because he directed Amores Perros, he should win.

Martin Scorsese - The Departed

It's a return to form that does truly deserve all the accolades. I am really surprised to see the nomination though, I honestly thought it would be a little too much for awards ceremonies. But then, GoodFellas got like eight million nominations so what do I know?


Best performance by an actress in a film - Drama
Penelope Cruz - Volver

I know it's wrong, but I hate her. She's apparently much less annoying and a far better actress when she's using her native language but I don't know if I agree with that. However, Volver is yet another film I didn't see, so I don't know if I hate her in it. But I do hate her.

Judi Dench - Notes on a Scandal

This woman can do no wrong. Seriously. None.

Maggie Gyllenhaal - Sherrybaby

She's so effing talented and it's nice to see her being nominated for anything, frankly.

Kate Winslet - Little Children

See above.

Helen Mirren - The Queen

This is the performance to beat though. Mirren has done pretty much a clean sweep since the film debuted on the festival circuit so if she doesn't win, I'll be stunned.


Best performance by an actor in a film - Drama

Leonardo DiCaprio - Blood Diamond
Leonardo DiCaprio - The Departed

Another dual nomination, one very much deserved (The Departed), the other, judging from the trailer as the film doesn't open in the UK until next year, very much not. His accent in Blood Diamond is a joke, for starters.

Peter O'Toole - Venus

I didn't even know this performance had any awards buzz about it.

Will Smith - The Pursuit of Happyness

Eh, I find him inoffensive enough but dear CHRIST this film looks bad. It looks like the worst kind of cloying sentimental claptrap. I wouldn't see it with someone else's eyes.

Forest Whitaker - The Last King of Scotland

The male Helen Mirren. If he doesn't walk off with the Globe, I'll be stunned.

Best performance by an actress in a film - Musical or Comedy

Annette Bening - Running With Scissors
Toni Collette - Little Miss Sunshine
Beyonce Knowles - Dreamgirls
Meryl Streep - The Devil Wears Prada
Renee Zellweger - Miss Potter

I've only seen one of these performances (Streep) so I will not do individual comments on them this time. But if Beyonce wins, I'll be furious.

Best performance by an actor in a film - Musical Or Comedy

Sacha Baron Cohen - Borat

Sigh.

Johnny Depp - Pirates of the Caribbean

Is that a joke? He was horrendous in this movie. He barely deserved his nomination for the first film, where he was actually good.

Aaron Eckhart - Thank You for Smoking
Chiwetel Ejiofor - Kinky Boots
Will Ferrell - Stranger than Fiction

Again, I haven't seen those last three performances so I can't really say anything. I would love to see Ejiofor win though, purely because he's incredible in everything I have seen him in.

Best performance by an actress in a supporting role in a film

Adriana Barraza - Babel
Cate Blanchett - Notes on a Scandal
Emily Blunt - The Devil Wears Prada
Jennifer Hudson - Dreamgirls
Rinko Kikuchi - Babel

Wow I suck. I've only seen one of these performances too. And it's the nomination I'm probably happiest about. Emily Blunt is just glorious. Good for her.

Best performance by an actor in a supporting role in a film

Ben Affleck - Hollywoodland
Eddie Murphy - Dreamgirls
Jack Nicholson - The Departed
Brad Pitt - Babel
Mark Wahlberg - The Departed

Ok, so continuing on the theme of sucking, I have only seen two performances here. And I am so shocked at Marky Mark's nomination. He was the one blot on The Departed's landscape. Horrible. Matt Damon was much more deserving of a nod.


Best foreign language film

Apocalypto (US)

Crazy Mel's follow up to The Jesus Chainsaw Massacre hasn't been anywhere near as successful but the critics seemed to love it, which would explain this nomination I suppose.

Letters From Iwo Jima (US)

Will more than likely be the winner in this category, I would think, given the head of steam it's building up (which would explain why the release date was moved up from February 07).

The Lives of Others (Germany)
Pan's Labyrinth (Mexico)

I would love to see this movie win though. It's just so fucking amazing.

Volver (Spain)


Best animated feature film

Cars
Happy Feet
Monster House

I haven't seen any of these. My inner child hates me.


Best screenplay - film

Guillermo Arriaga - Babel
Todd Field and Tom Perrotta - Little Children
Patrick Marber - Notes on a Scandal
William Monahan - The Departed
Peter Morgan - The Queen

Why don't the GG's split adapted and original? That doesn't really seem very fair.


Best original song - film
Listen - Dreamgirls
Never Gonna Break My Faith - Bobby
The Song of the Heart - Happy Feet
Try Not to Remember - Home of the Brave
A Father's Way - The Pursuit of Happyness

Does anybody honestly think anything other than Dreamgirls will take this category?


Best original score - film

Alexandre Desplat - The Painted Veil
Clint Mansell - The Fountain
Gustavo Santaolalla - Babel
Carlo Siliotto - Nomad
Hans Zimmer - The Da Vinci Code

I can only assume Zimmer's nomination is a joke of some kind. I love Clint Mansell's work generally so it would be nice to see him win. The Fountain tanked and has absolutely no buzz whatsoever though so I don't really think his triumph is likely.


Best television series - Drama

24

This nod would be for the 5th season, which I have to say I didn't think much of. They really had to s t r e t c h out the plot to get it to the full 24 episodes.

Big Love

Can we say boring? I'm willing to give it a second chance on DVD but the first two episodes bored me so intensely I didn't watch any more of it.

Grey's Anatomy

God I love this show. And the second season was pretty fucking incredible. So it would be nice, after it left the Emmys with egg all over its face, to see the show pick up the award here.

Heroes

Starts in the UK in February and I seriously CANNOT wait.

Lost

This nod is for the second season, which was a little bit shit. And not just because it had a tough act to follow after its brilliant first season. It was a little bit shit because it did nothing for the majority of the season. All this great promise was squandered and the bollocks with the hatch and the button was particularly annoying. I seriously hope it doesn't win.

Best performance by an actress in a television series - Drama

Patricia Arquette - Medium

Love her. And she is utterly mesmerising in this show. Her style is perfect for the role.

Edie Falco - Sopranos

I've never seen a single episode, but Edie Falco pretty much kicks ass in everything she does.

Evangeline Lilly - Lost

What? Why?

Ellen Pompeo - Grey's Anatomy

Oh fuck off, really? She's hateful awful in the show. I have said it before but it takes a talented actress to take someone as patently unloveable and annoying as Meredith and make you care about her and you, Ms Pompeo, are not that actress.

Kyra Sedgwick - The Closer

Never seen it but I've also never seen a bad Kyra Sedgwick performance.

Best performance by an actor in a television series - Drama

Patrick Dempsey - Grey's Anatomy

He's so hot. He's really grown into his looks and his talent.

Michael C Hall - Dexter

I've not seen this show but it would be nice for Hall to win if only to make up for the lack of love he was shown for his on the money performance as David Fisher in Six Feet Under.

Hugh Laurie - House

I've only seen a handful of episodes but Laurie has been pretty outstanding in all of them. It's a brilliantly written character and Laurie has one of the most convincing American accents around.

Bill Paxton - Big Love

If they give it to him, will he stop taking his clothes off on the show?

Kiefer Sutherland - 24

His character had no arc this season. All he did was shout for 24 episodes.

Best television series - Musical Or Comedy

Desperate Housewives

The second season sucked. I gave up on it.

Entourage

Absolute comedy genius.

The Office

I hate the UK version so I have no desire to ever see the US one.

Weeds

I have only seen a few episodes (I have the whole first season on DVD I just haven't watched it all yet) but it's top notch stuff, judging on what I have seen.

Ugly Betty

Not on in the UK yet...


Best performance by an actress in a television series - Musical Or Comedy

Marcia Cross - Desperate Housewives
America Ferrera - Ugly Betty
Felicity Huffman - Desperate Housewives
Julia Louis-Dreyfus - The New Adventures of Old Christine
Mary-Louise Parker - Weeds

I'm starting to bore myself now and I am sure nobody is still reading by this point, so I'll just say if anyone but Parker wins this, there will be hell to pay.

Best performance by an actor in a television series - Musical Or Comedy

Alec Baldwin - 30 Rock
Zach Braff - Scrubs
Steve Carrell - The Office
Jason Lee - My Name is Earl
Tony Shalhoub - Monk

As much as I love Zach Braff, I think if there's any justice the award will go to Jason Lee.

Best mini-series or film made for television

Bleak House
Prime Suspect: The Final Act
Broken Trail
Elizabeth I
Mrs Harris

Surely this award belongs to Bleak House. It was an epic adaptation, ambitious as well as innovative and packed to drawstrings with great performances.


Best performance by an actress in a mini-series or film made for television

Gillian Anderson - Bleak House

Whatthefuckever. Hers was probably the weakest link in a very strong chain. That Anna Maxwell Martin has been overlooked is travesty.

Annette Bening - Mrs Harris
Helen Mirren - Elizabeth I
Helen Mirren - Prime Suspect: The Final Act

Not content with winning every film award under the sun, Mirren doubles her TV award chances with this dual nomination. Her final performance as Jane Tennison is richly deserving of all the praise being heaped upon it.

Sophie Okonedo - Tsunami: The Aftermath


Best performance by an actor in a mini-series or film made for television

Andre Braugher - Thief
Robert Duvall - Broken Trail
Michael Ealy - Sleeper Cell: American Terror
Chiwetel Ejiofor - Tsunami: The Aftermath
Bill Nighy - Gideon's Daughter
Ben Kingsley - Mrs. Harris
Matthew Perry - The Ron Clark Story

Why so many nominations in this category? Bill Nighy was wonderful in Gideon's Daughter, it has to be said.


Best performance by an actress in a supporting role in a series, mini-series or film made for television

Toni Collette - Tsunami: The Aftermath
Emily Blunt - Gideon's Daughter
Katherine Heigl - Grey's Anatomy
Sarah Paulson - Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip
Elizabeth Perkins - Weeds

Gosh I am actually torn here. I documented my love for Ms Blunt at the beginning of what has now become the world's longest blog entry. But Heigl was superb in Grey's, her character arc was the most interesting and challenging of the lot. And Perkins performance in Weeds is a joy to behold.

Best performance by an actor in a supporting role in a series, mini-series or film made for television

Thomas Haden Church - Broken Trail
Jeremy Irons - Elizabeth I
Justin Kirk - Weeds
Masi Oka - Heroes
Jeremy Piven - Entourage

They probably needn't have bothered with the first four nominees. This award has Piven's name all over it.


So there you are. That's my not terribly coherent take on the Golden Globes. I am very hungover right now so cut me some slack.

BAFTA change the rules

According to IMDb, BAFTA have changed the rules as to which films they can consider for nominations. Rather than allowing films released up to the end of March to be considered, only films released prior to the awards ceremony will now be eligible. As next year's ceremony is on February 11th, there's a little bit of a hoo and a ha going on because Letters From Iwo Jima, The Good Shepherd and The Good German all have release dates after that in the UK. According to Adam Dawtrey, from Variety, "This strikes at the very heart of the question of what commercial impact BAFTA actually has for distributors."

Actually, for me, it strikes at the heart of why the UK has to wait so fucking long for movies that are out in the US before Christmas. And in general in fact. It drives me absolutely batshit when movies are held up for seemingly no reason. In a time when the industry is bleating about piracy and the money it's costing them, to me it doesn't make fundamental economic sense to delay the release of high profile movies. That's just going to drive people to obtain them illegally. When it's so cheap and easy to do that, why would people wait?

I love John Barrowman

And I am not ashamed to say it! Not only is he super hot -




- see?, but he's also an out and proud proper gay homosexualist and has plenty to say on the matter. He's also very funny. Recently he took part in Attitude magazine's regular feature, "Any Queries?" where readers send in questions and the best ones are answered. Here are some choice samples from the interview:

When asked about the nude scene he shot for Doctor Who, he had this to say: "There is footage out there in the ether of me with naked with my pert bottom and my HUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGEEEEE cock hanging out. What, you think I'm gonna say average?"

When asked about if watching Doctor Who as a child made him hide behind the sofa, his response was "I didn't hide behind the sofa, I sat on the sofa with a pillow in front of my face. Or my face in a pillow....which sometimes happens these days."

But when asked if he would seriously consider pursuing a career in Hollywood, he gets much more serious: "If Hollywood ever said we want you, I would go, but I am not going to pursue it. To be honest with you, it's gay men and women in America, in Hollywood, who are the worst and the most homophobic and it frightens me. There are casting people, industry people, they find out you're gay and they don't want to touch you, you're a hurdle to be overcome, you're not marketable. Well fuck you. We are marketable. Take a risk. You would change the industry and be a mover and shaker if you did something like that. I'm not an advocate of outing people at all. It's no-one's place to do that because people have emotional issues to deal with. But if you're creating a lie for Christ sake, that is not good. We need some huge Hollywood name to come out. I know a lot of people in this country who are in the closet and married. It's absolutely horrible. I find it difficult. I understand it but I want to say "why?". It's a slap in the face to the rest of us."

So there you are. John Barrowman, you are officially fabulous.

There's some hope for Dreamgirls yet

I haven't said a word about the most anticipated movie musical adaptation in, well, forever because I have been very apprehensive about it. The early trailers didn't make me excited and it seemed the problem that almost felled Chicago was very much present (the fact that the movie seemed to be edited with a lawnmower and then stuck together with crazy glue). However, friends have seen advance screenings and have loved it and now the early reviews are equally as awestruck. It's tracking an incredible 94 on Metacritic (though that is only based on 5 reviews so far) but it's this little snippet from Variety that has finally started getting PCB excited:

Finally. After "The Phantom of the Opera," "Rent" and "The Producers" botched the transfer from stage to screen, Dreamgirls gets it right. Bill Condon's adaptation of the 1981 show about a Motown trio's climb to crossover stardom pulls off the fundamental double-act those three musical pics all missed: It stays true to the source material while standing on its own as a fully reimagined movie.

Hopefully my avid dislike of Foxx and Knowles will not derail my movie enjoyment....

Out of the frying pan, into the fire

I have officially given up with Lisey's Story. I had completely forgotten until they emailed me to tell me it was on its way, that I had pre-ordered Hannibal Rising from Amazon. It arrived on Tuesday so I kicked Stephen King to the kerb for Thomas Harris.

Well, the title of this entry should tell you how that's turning out. I'm only 40 pages in and it's a REAL struggle so far. It's horribly horribly written, the prose is so fucking godwaful and clumsy it makes Dan Brown look like Charles Dickens. Shame. I am going to persevere with it for a bit longer but my hopes really aren't high.

TMI Tuesday and it's actually on a Tuesday

Who ever would have thought it? Those cunning folk over at TMI Tuesday (the blog is linked over yonder, under "Other Blog Joy To Behold") have me hooked. This is entry number 52.


1. You can flip a switch that will wipe any band or musical artist out of existence. Which one will it be?

Well this is actually a tough question. I am very much a creature of extremes and there are any number of bands and musical acts I would love to see wiped out of existence. Right now, I wouldn't be sorry to see the end of the Scissor Sisters and if someone gave me a gun and promised me I'd get away with it, Vanessa Carlton would be shot in the head pretty much right away. But if I have to choose, I'd go for Oasis. Hateful music and such swaggering arrogance and fake macho posturing. Vile.

2. You seem to be having an excellent day because you just came across a hundred-dollar bill on the sidewalk. Holy crap, a hundred bucks! How are you gonna spend it?

I'd give it to charity. Oh who am I kidding, I would totally spend it on DVDs and cake.

3. Rufus appears out of nowhere with a time-traveling phone booth. You can go anytime in the PAST. What time are you traveling to and what are you going to do when you get there?

Weimar Germany, at its height of decadence, prior to being wiped out by facism. It's only a tiny small period of history so I would live it up as decadently as I could.

4. What is your favorite curse word?

Without a shadow of a doubt, it has to be cunt.

5. You have the opportunity to sleep with the movie celebrity of your choice. We are talking no-strings-attached sex and it can only happen once. Who is the lucky celebrity of your choice?

I'm afraid I'm going to have to be greedy here as I couldn't narrow it down to one movie celebrity. I would have to be in the middle of a Jake Gyllenhaal/Paul Walker man-sandwich. If the rumors about each of them are true, I'd end up with a dislocated jaw and I wouldn't be able to sit down for like a week, but it would TOTALLY be worth it.

Bonus:You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what's even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What's it gonna be?

As fun as it would be to fly, leap tall buildings in a single bound, shoot lasers out of my eyes etc, I'm going to plump for invisibility. Purely because I'm so endlessly nosey it would allow me to snoop at my leisure. Hey, nobody ever said I had to use my powers for good now did they?

An emotional journey on the Shortbus

Just two days after I proclaimed Pan's Labyrinth as my possible film of the year, along comes Shortbus. I was expecting a cute and frivolous movie with some ok acting and lots of sex. What I got was a very honest, emotional, raw and deep film that I found profoundly affecting. The only things I was right about was the ok acting and the sex.

I can't really write a proper entry about it because it honestly bowled me over. I even got a little bit tearful at the end. I identified so much with some of the people and situations it was uncanny. It also made me laugh very hard indeed. It's a truly great film and I urge everyone to see it.

El Laberinto Del Fauno

After working a very long week of 10 or 12 hour days and only Sunday off, I went to see Pan's Labyrinth last night. It may very well end up being my film of the year, I absolutely LOVED it. In all honesty I don't think I have a bad word to say about it.

It was much harsher and more explicitly violent than I was expecting, not to mention downright terrifying in places. It's billed as a fairy tale for grown ups. Very accurate. Set at the end of the Spanish Civil War, it focuses on a little girl with a vivid imagination whose mother has embarked on a relationship with a facist army captain. They are taken to the edge of a forest where a group of rebels are hiding out, pursued by said captain and his army. Running parallel to this storyline is the fairy tale part whereby the little girl, Ofelia, discovers the titular labyrinth and Pan, who believes her to be the reincarnated spirit of the king's daughter from his world. He sets her a series of tasks to prove to herself that she is the princess and can return to the world she left behind.

Such an outlandish premise could quite easily have been an absolute disaster. Guillermo Del Toro manages to make it work beautifully, never putting a foot wrong and unbalancing the picture. The performances are all wonderful, particularly Ivana Baquero as Ofelia. It becomes increasingly intense as the film progresses and the two worlds begin to encroach on each other and if the entirely pitch perfect ending doesn't leave you with a lump in your throat and wanting to believe in fairy tales, well then you have no soul. If there's any justice, this film will pick up a shedload of awards in the coming months.

This song

was number one in the UK on the day I was born. My only question would be why? Telly Savalas, bloody Kojak, talking his way through a song while a female choir chimes in occasionally. Dear Christ.

TMI time

Thanks to Dirk Mancuso (click his link over on the right), I have discovered TMI Tuesday. Everyone should check it out, five questions every Tuesday, the answers of which require the imparting of TMI. Genius. In what may become a regular feature on here, I am going to be answering some of their questions. This is number 50:

1. What's the longest you've ever gone without a shower? Almost a week. It was SO nasty but it wasn't my fault. At the start of the second year of university I was out at some club getting down with my bad self when my knee gave out. The tendons down the side of my kneecap snapped and pulled a small part of the kneecap out with it. I was laid up in bed for a week initially and by the time I was mobile enough to get my ass in the shower, I have NEVER been more grateful. I can't stand being dirty and it drove me crazy.

2. Do you use a q-tip? If so, how often? Every day after I shower, I clean out my ears.

3. Do you have any piercings, if so where? Any for sexual purposes? None at all. I have tried and failed to have a nose piercing three times and my ear was pierced once, which also ended in disaster and is actually tied to the knee catastrophe above. About a week before I was felled by the dodgy tendons, I got my ear pierced. In the ensuing horror of not being able to walk (or indeed wash) the regular caring for a new piercing was forgotten about. So of course, it got infected. The back of it was leaking some nasty gunk and I kept twisting it to free it up. In doing so, I pulled the stud INTO my ear and then IT GREW OVER. So my housemate, for I was too much of a pussy, had to take the back off the stud and then push the fucking thing out of my ear. After that, I swore never ever again. Ever.

4. Oral sex... give or receive? Well it's my favourite sex activity so I like to spend hours doing both.

5. Sex while on the period... ick? Sex that involves lady parts in any capacity is ick, thanks for asking.