Her sugar is raw

A conversation between myself and one of my very best friends:

Her: So will you be attending the Sticky & Sweet Tour?
Me: Hell no! You?
Her: I'm considering it, but it's so expensive again.
Me: I know. Ridiculous.
Her: You'll probably change your mind though. You did last time after all.
Me: True. And that concert was.....not great. Plus, this time she's playing Wembley Stadium and not the Arena, so a decent view will be an impossibility.
Her: Oh. I didn't notice it was the Stadium. Well bugger THAT.
Me: Uh huh.

Hard Candy with a soft centre

Maybe it's because I was not expecting it to be any good at all, but the 900th new album from 1000 year old Madonna is really fucking good. I have only listened to it once and I still really don't like the lead single "4 Minutes" (and it doesn't really seem to gel with the rest of the album) but for now I'm really surprised at how good the album is.

An Easter fright treat for you all

Madonna's new single is online. Check it out here. I don't like it, not yet, but maybe it's a grower.

What is NOT a grower is the absolutely Christing awful album cover she's gone with. See?



I would say something but every time I look at it, my eyes start to bleed. Woman, you're 50 in a few months time. Put your vagina away, lay off the botox and grow old gracefully, for fucks sake.

I have now Confessed

And here, track by track, is what PCB has to say about it all.



"Future Lovers/I Feel Love"

It starts theatrically and fabulously enough with the giant disco ball and what have you. The segue into I Feel Love is genius and flawlessly pulled off. But I'm not quite convinced by the equestrian choreography.

"Get Together"

Wait, where did her dancers go? Oh there they are. Oh they're gone again. What's with the pop up boys? Weird.

"Like A Virgin"

Ah now this is more like it. A great new dancey arrangement and Madonna on an S & M merry-go-round. Fabulous. And seriously, I was on the edge of my seat thinking "why isn't she strapped on to that thing!?!?!"

"Jump"

Holy fuck her dancers are hot. And I'm even further on the edge of my seat with all the leaping around they're doing. Dayum.

"Live To Tell"

Prefaced by the one true misstep the night takes, this is.....interesting. The controversy she's caused with this staging is inescapable. Again, I love the new mix but I'm wondering why she chose to include such a slooooow ballad in a show where she want to make the world dance.

"Forbidden Love"

Understated and brilliant. Intricate, complicated to the point and simple all at the same time.

"Isaac"

My god I love this song. Love it. Not keen on the caged Bedouin woman though.

"Sorry"

Utterly phenomenal. The clumsy equestrian choreography is forgotten in favour of slick urban brilliance. And finally I can stop thinking "why does she only have 4 dancers?"

"Like It Or Not"

As soon as they appeared, they're gone again. Madonna takes to the catwalk and also manages to bring to mind Cabaret whilst reminding us of the finale from Blond Ambition

"Sorry (Remix)"

Scene change but I really like the remix. And that never happens.

"I Love New York"

I manage not to cry. The rock edge really works for the song too.

"Ray Of Light"

Another song that totally benefits from the hard rock makeover. And the dancers are fun in this one.

"Let It Will Be"

Truly astonishing. I miss the strings in this arrangement but I'm so in awe of the way she's throwing herself around that I don't really care.

"Substitute For Love"

First we all sing Happy Birthday and then Madonna makes a little thank you speech. This naturally stops the show in its tracks and then sitting on the stairs singing this song does nothing to kick start it. She sounds fine though (I'm under no illusions that she's being electronically helped however) and I'm transfixed by how huge the vein in her arm is.

"Paradise (Not For Me)"

Truly baffling inclusion, I have to say. Slow and dull.

"Music/Disco Inferno"

Again, inspired genius. I can be quite reserved at concerts and I'm not usually one for arena sized gigs like this, but believe me when I tell you I got down with my bad self. Absolutely phenomenal.

"La Isla Bonita"

Another oldie that's been pleasingly overhauled with magnificent choreography. Fabulous.

"Erotica/You Thrill Me"

My God, if the whole show had been as strong as this section I would have probably expired with sheer joy by now. This is the first time since 1993 this song has seen the light of day and it's a bastardized but brilliant version.

"Lucky Star"

And finally the backing singers are released from their podium which they've been stuck on for almost the whole show. When you consider how much Nikki and Donna had to do in Blond Ambition and The Girlie Show, it's surprising how little time they spend in the spotlight tonight. The hilarious Dancing Queen cape is fantastic.

"Hung Up"

So for the first time in a while, Madonna isn't closing with (or indeed, even performing) "Holiday". Instead it's "Hung Up" of which she can be justifiably proud. However I am a little disappointed that it's the exact same routine that's in the video and on the Grammys and at every pre-release concert she performed. As I've seen that many times and as the show started SO late, I leave a few minutes before the end to make the last train home.



So it's a qualified success. There were many many many brilliant parts and only one misfire. A few draggy moments though and an overall failure to entirely cohere prevents this from being a truly great concert. Part of the problem could also be that Re-Invention was so fucking incredible that it set the bar impossibly high for her next live performance. I seriously doubt that this will be her last tour and I wouldn't be surprised to see her celebrating her half century with a new album and attempt at world domination. And I'll see it, of course.

I have a Confession.....

I caved in on Tuesday. I was looking at Ticketmaster's website and they still had some tickets at top price for Madonna's performance at Wembley on August 16th. So I bought myself one. See, one of the good things about working at American Express is they give any employee a credit card. So I applied for a RED card so I can buy things I can't afford and feel good about myself while I'm doing it. And I just couldn't let this tour pass me by. Not after Re-Invention blew my mind a couple of years ago.

Isn't she rich enough already?

Madonna has announced her new tour schedule and prices. For her UK dates, the top price is a whopping £160, with the cheapest ticket still a monstrously unaffordable £80. Now, I run hot and cold with Madonna but the Re-Invention Tour is the greatest gig I have ever seen and the current album is her strongest in a L O N G time. But come on. The woman has more money than she could ever possibly spend. She could charge £10 a ticket and not even notice. It makes me a little ill that she's charging so much, to be honest. I won't be going.