Friday, May 05, 2006

Slightly alarming

So it seems I have an innate ability to kill alarm clocks. I have just offed my third in seven weeks. When I started at American Express, I bought this fancy digital thing. It didn't work, so technically I may not have killed it, it was possibly dead from the off. So I took it back and I swapped it for one of those old fashioned ones, with the two big bells on top and the little hammer that bangs the ever loving crap out of them, you know the kind? They also tick louder than a grandfather clock. After a few weeks of being woken up by it, the little hammer decided to stop moving. By this time, I had started using my UK mobile phone again so I thought I would use the alarm clock on that instead. That worked fine, until this morning when it didn't go off for no apparent reason. I had luckily woken up at 6:50am desperate to pee and was laying in bed wondering if I could possibly go back to sleep when I thought "it has been a long 20 minutes" and of course, it was already 7:30am and I should have been in the shower 15 minutes ago. I checked the phone, the alarm was set, the battery was full, there was no problem, it just didn't go off. Bugger.

And speaking of peeing, I just had the most delightful peegasm. I met a guy I'd been talking to online after work for a drink and see where it led. It led nowhere after he revealed he had a boyfriend and i had to supress the urge to smack him. But he bought me a pint, so I drank it and left. I stopped into Waterstones and bought a couple of books, then went to CyberCandy and got some Coca Cola Blak and then went to the supermarket to get food for the weekend. As I'm shopping, my bladder suddenly realises it's very very VERY full. I'm 20 minutes from home. So I pay for my shopping and I hightail it out of there. By the time I am 5 minutes from home, I'm in pain. It hurts to move, it hurts even worse to stand still, so I just push on, biting my lip, sweating profusely and trying not to think about the fact that I could very well not make it home. But I did make it. And the relief was indescribable. No orgasm then, but the peegasm makes up for it. Sorta.

5 comments:

dirk.mancuso said...

I have those peegasm moments more and more lately. And it is doubly worse at work for some reason when I am standing near the baler which crushes cardboard. When that thing kicks on and the grinding of the gears hits a certain pitch, I am lucky to make it, legs crossed, the twenty yards to the mens room without a dark stain spreading across my nether region. Sighhhhhhhhhhh. I hope this is not old age setting in.

As for that guy, be glad he at least told you about the b/f right off (although he should have told you before you agreed to meet). If you had hit it off, imagine finding out a few months down the road. I am finding more and more, that a good book and a bottled water are my very best friends when the sun goes down.

Sad but true.

Cookie said...

Alcohol AND caffeine... Diuretics that make you pee more than you thought you had in you... Once burned (or rather almost bursted in this case) twice shy!

Popcultureboy said...

I didn't DRINK the caffeine, I just took it home with me...

Addy said...

But the relief is so sweet! :-)

(I'm the queen of dashing in the front door with not a moment to spare... I need to learn!)

Cookie said...

Doesn't matter. Your body still knew there was caffeine nearby...