Oscar! Oscar!

Let me start by saying I did not watch them this year. And I am very glad I didn't. All the reports seem to be that this was the dullest ceremony ever and at 4 and a quarter hours, entirely too long. When even the Fug Girls do a live blogging and can't make me raise more than an occasional chuckle, you know it's bad.

And what of the awards themselves? That there were three upsets on the night, two of which were at the expense of Dreamgirls and one at the expense of Pan's Labyrinth just further cements my opinion that the Oscars are a joke. Fair enough, Eddie Murphy learned that this is what happens when you allow Norbit to be released before the Academy have finished voting but still. That the Academy all but fell over themselves to honour Chicago a few years ago is all the more galling as it is by far the inferior film in comparison.

Melissa Etheridge winning Best Song was the other Dreamgirls upset. Now while the three nominations in one category may well have cancelled themselves out, I imagine Etheridge's win had more to do with the fact she survived breast cancer with incredible dignity. Also she's a lesbian. And her song was in Al Gore's An Inconvenient Truth. So with just one award, the Academy gets to feel good about itself, redress some of the stupid homophobic backlash from Brokebackgate of 2006 and show it really cares about the environment. Result!

Martin Scorcese finally, 26 years after his first nomination, took home Best Director. But did he win because he really genuinely deserved it for The Departed? Or was it more the fact that the lack of an award to Scorcese had made the Oscars an absolute laughing stock and so they thought they really should put a stop to it? You decide.

And finally, while it picked up three consolation Oscars, Pan's Labyrinth was bested when it came to the Best Foreign Film award. Whatever.