We welcome you to Spamalot

Or really it should be"A lot of Spam". I thought I would share with you some of the more ridiculous spam email titles that have found their way to me of late.

"Hot girls ready to come fuck you, PCB"
"we found hot slut for you, PCB"
"girls in your area who like money for sex, PCB"

Nothing terribly out of the ordinary there of course. Except you have to wonder why, out and out homo that I am, they're bothering to send me emails about pussy.

"These types of analyses are inherently weaker than prospective, controlled studies."
"Writers, to a degree, exist in a bubble, Iweala said, because they are removed from other people."
"at the moment, and the use of NNTP to provide newsreading"

None of these make the blindest bit of sense (the last one is in fact a sentence fragment for the love of God) and I'm fairly sure if I were to open any of the emails, none of them would have anything to do with their subject line.

But now for my favourites:

"extreme animal porn with young girls message from Dollie Armstrong"

Well thanks for the message Dollie, but I'll pass.

"striking single ladies"

This one I don't dare open in case I discover it's not about extraordinarily beautiful women who happen to be single, but is actually about smacking them in the head, regardless of their beauty.

"Aggressive Investors Alert"

Well thanks for the heads up there. Do you mean they'll invest their money and take no prisoners about it, or do you mean they're investors who say, if they have one too many, are likely to get all up in your business?

So there you have a snippet of my bulk mail folder contents (I was going to say spam box but it's too early in the morning to think up a suitably nasty double entendre to go with it). Fun, ain't it?