Increase/Decrease
Now that I have some time, due to refusing all overtime shifts for the weekend as I figured my birthday was reason enough for a break, I shall reveal the reason for the earlier post asking if we all knew what increase and decrease mean.
Work has gotten less crazed and busy as the months have gone on, working on a travel based product has that as an advantage. Consequently, as people have left the department, they have not been replaced as the workload hasn't merited it. Fair enough. For a couple of months, it was just my boss, me and a fantastic colleague who I loved and who was super smart with it. She of course got herself another job. Bitch. So after weeks of deliberation, my boss hired a new girl. On her third day in the job, as I was showing her how to print off statements, she asked me the now infamous question:
"What does decrease mean?"
Several bitchy retorts ran through my brain, not least "it means you must have been raised by wolves". But I explained it to her and we moved on. THE NEXT DAY she then asked me what increase meant. At this point I should have said "it means you're too dumb to do this job, now go home".
The best part of this is though, I took my boss to one side to voice my concerns about her level of intellect and was absolutely gobsmacked when she told me I was being unreasonable to expect someone who is almost 24 years old and who apparently went to school at least once AND who just landed a job working in a financial institution, to know what those words meant. I am quite literally surrounded by idiots. It's going to be a LONG six months.....
3 comments:
This anecdote floods me with joy, not just because of the "wolves" retort, but also because I thought the problem of churning out idiot generations, each one more stupid than the last, was a fatal flaw unique to the American educational system. The decline and fall of a society is so much more pleasant with a traveling companion.
I could understand if there were some bizarro financial variant in the defintions. I'm guessing from your earlier question asking us about this, though, that there is not. you should have used this example.
"When you ask me stupid questions, as you just have, I will deduct 100 pounds from your check. That is a decrease. When you're not a complete idiot for a week, I will give you 100 pounds. That is an increase. Let's see how soon you forget it."
I've worked with the grotesquely stupid. I was cursed with having to deal with an obscenely idiotic woman, who worked at a theatrical company and had no idea what WAITING FOR GODOT was. Eventually her stupidity became the office joke, and there was open speculation about who she was sleeping with to keep her job. After two years, she moved on to another job, which she kept for about six weeks.
In general, beware losing your cool with the really totally stupid. They bite. Keep your head on, keep records of their stupidity, and don't be afraid to shift the blame to them BUT only do so when it is appropriate and you have backup.
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