Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Pre Wedding Jitters

My parents flew in late last Tuesday night and stayed with my aunt in Kent for a few days prior to the wedding. I went down to join them on...

Wednesday

I got a train from Brighton in the afternoon and got to my aunt's at around 4pm. My parents are thrilled to see me, ecstatic over my almost 30lb weight loss, and so on. My aunt and her partner (who I HATE) spend the evening making passive aggressive comments about all my books and cds which they have stored in their attic for me. I ignore them, as I do with any and all passive aggressive comments.

Thursday

Today is wedding outfit shopping day. As my parents are paying for all clothing purchased today and I need two outfits (one for the wedding on Saturday and another for the family dinner tomorrow night), I refuse to buy something I wouldn't wear again after this weekend and go with smart casual. I have my outfits picked out inside of an hour. My aunt is along for the journey but not buying anything. She is obsessed with money, not just her money either, but other people's. As I couldn't give two shits about spending money, this quickly becomes wearing. My mother's outfit is also found relatively quickly. The shoes and handbag to go with it takes a little longer. While my mother and father tackle the shoes, my aunt and I go in search of a handbag for her. I find one, and the first question my aunt asks is how much it costs. When I say it's £30, she grimaces and says "that's so much money". I have to bite back from saying "well you're not paying for it so it doesn't really matter how much money it is, does it?"

When we get home, my aunt then reveals herself to be a feeder. About an hour and a half before dinner, she brings out a truckload of crisps and dips and when I seat myself out of reaching distance, keeps handing them to me. Three times she asks me if I would like a glass of wine, three times I decline. On the third decline, she hands me one anyway. Dinner is absolutely MASSIVE and then a little while after that she brings out ice cream and chocolate. Now tomorrow, my parents and I are driving the 5 hour drive up to Hull. It's been agreed that I would cadge a lift back with the aunt and her hateful hateful boyfriend on the Sunday. They're too tight to drop me back in Brighton (extra fuel, you know) and so we try and agree on a place to drop me. As I know that Gatwick Airport is only a 40 minute drive from their house, I suggest that as it's only 30 minutes on the train for me. My aunt's reply was "well that will add about 90 minutes to our journey, so no. How about we drop you at Epping tube station?" My response to that was "so to shave 90 minutes off your journey, you want to add three hours to mine? I would have to get the subway all the way into the centre of London which would take forever. I'll just book a train, thanks for nothing".

Friday

So today's the day I get to meet the girlfriend, wife to be. We leave for the epic journey to Hull at around 10:45am, the traffic is horrendous and we get to Hull at around 4:30pm. My ass is numb. Thank God I had my iPod with me. My parents had a very bad car accident in Spain a few years back and since then, my mother's nerves when it comes to driving in the UK are pretty much shot. Unfortunately for her, my father is almost legally blind. He had a detached retina in one eye years ago and it was reattached but his vision was never fabulous in that eye. A year or so ago, he had a blocked tear duct in his other eye, he's had two operations to try and sort it out, neither have worked. However, as well as a blocked tear duct he's now getting a cataract in that same eye. So he's not really able to drive anymore. My mother drives all the way but I lose count of the times she slams on the brakes for no apparent reason.

So we arrive and I finally meet the love of my sister's life. No reference is made to anything and we immediately are relaxed and ok with each other. I like her a lot, she obviously thinks the world of my sister, so it's all good. She's a big TV lover so we have lots of shows to talk about (we mainly focused on Lost since the shock deaths of Ana Lucia and Libby just aired here). I get a tour of their gorgeous house and then it's time to get ready for dinner. See, tonight it's family dinner at the hotel/stately home where the ceremony and afternoon reception will be taking place as my sister and her wife to be are staying there tonight and we're staying in their gorgeous house. The dinner is on them, which was lovely of them, their thank you to us. Thanking us for what, I'm not sure :-). It has become apparent that my parents are now totally ok with having two gay kids, not least because they confirmed something I have suspected for ages, which is that they are thrilled to not have any grandkids. They would hate to have that extra responsibility and love the fact that they are free to travel around the world (which they are planning to do), without feeling any kind of guilt. This makes me very happy. The meal is a hit, the food is amazing and the venue for the wedding is absolutely gorgeous. We leave the ever more nervous soon to be newlyweds to their bridal suite and head back to their house for the evening.

Next up: The wedding itself, with pictures.

2 comments:

Grouchbutt said...

ANA LUCIA AND LIBBY ARE DEAD?!?

kidding.

Believe it or not, I screamed like a little girl when that happened.

Glad your sister is happily wed, sorry your aunt and her appendage are so awful. Can't wait for the pictures.

robb said...

wow. you used the wrong pronoun several times in your story. but other than that, your sister's new husband sounds cool. it's good that he likes 'lost' too.