Friday, September 15, 2006

My Sister's Big Fat Lesbian Wedding


The day is finally here. We get up and put our glad rags on and head on over to the hotel for the ceremony. We arrive at around 11:15am and the ceremony is scheduled to take place at noon. After a dismal August, September has been really very nice and it's a gloriously sunny day so the ceremony takes place as planned and hoped for outside in the garden. They are married in this gazebo.

Ain't it pretty? Here are some pics of the afterwards, as you're not allowed to take pictures during the ceremony itself.

That's my sister on the left and behind her is the speech making friend you'll be reading about in a minute.

Signing the register and making their union official.

Just married and they're playing their song (A cover of "No No Never" by Texas Lightning).

The happy couple. Awwww.

Family photo. No, I'm not in it, but there was an official photographer who took a whole slew of pics and when I get copies sent to me, I'll do another entry with them. So those are my parents. Aren't they cute?

Then it's the sit down lunch at the hotel, with more of the incredible food and excellent service we'd had the previous evening. Although the hotel has hosted many receptions for same sex couples, my sister's is the first marriage to have taken place at the hotel, so the staff are all really excited about it, which was sweet. The wine is seemingly neverending and no matter how much I drink, my glass seems to always be full. Fun. Despite requesting no speeches, one of the witnesses, who has known both my sister and her now wife for about five years, insists on making a speech and having a toast. Which means champagne. The speech was nice enough but I took an instant dislike to the friend when I met her, so I only sort of half listen. I'm so terrible. After the speech, there's coffee and homemade chocolate truffles (to DIE for) and then it's on to the other hotel, the only 5 star hotel for miles around, for the evening bash.

We get there around 4:30pm and check in. The reception staff are all excited as it's the first same sex wedding they have had in the hotel. So we're two for two. I have an executive suite all to myself, so when I realise just how drunk I am, I have to take a nap. I get up and take a shower, and I am so relieved to note when I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror that, despite feeling like I have, I haven't gained 30lbs. Once I'm all clean and slightly more sober than I was, I head down to the bar to meet the family, including my other aunt, uncle and cousin who, along with penny pincher aunt and her dull dull partner, have come up for the evening bash. We then head to the function room where the evening bash is being held. There's a DJ and a buffet, in proper wedding stylee. They invited 80 people but only expected 60. However, EVERYBODY came. The place is rammed, there are gifts and cards everywhere. My sister and her wife are so taken aback by that. I spend a lot of time on the dance floor, it's a fun fun fun night. My parents and the rest of the older crew retire back to the bar when the music gets really loud, so I am going between the two for a while. However, when I notice that the penny pincher's boring partner has fallen asleep in the bar, I don't go back again as I'm too annoyed. My sister's very close very gay male friend is by now very drunk and very shirtless and very all over the dancefloor which makes for some entertaining viewing. At quarter past midnight I retire to my room and try to sleep. I am so full I can't sleep right off though and actually consider getting up to purge myself. But I ride it out instead. I only managed to take one pic at the evening bash and here it is.


Everyone who stayed over at the hotel (about 15 of us) all meet for breakfast. It's included in our room price and it's all you can eat. I'm still full from yesterday so I can't take full advantage of this. Shame. We then check out and head back to the house. The newlyweds spend the afternoon opening all their cards and gifts, by which I mean my sister laid around groaning about being hungover while her wife opened them all. My sister kept saying "I wasn't going to drink and I wasn't going to dance. I got pissed and danced all night, I don't know how that happened." Then she'd groan again. They're flying to Turkey for a week's honeymoon tonight at 10pm so they have a LONG day ahead. I am also feeling a titch fragile and not looking forward to the train journey. I say goodbye to the newlyweds who invite me back to stay for a weekend soon then my parents drive me to the station. We say goodbye it's all quite emotional and then I'm on the train for the fastest smoothest train journey ever. It arrives into London 8 minutes early which enables me to make my connection to Brighton half an hour earlier than I would have done and door to door my journey is a little over 4 hours. So there you are, that was my sister's wedding. The best thing is they are deciding what to do with their names now they're married. Our family name is Hunter. My sister's wife's family name is Fox. My sister is dying to double barrel it and be a Fox-Hunter.


Limecrete said...

This whole wedding series of entries is terrific.

Grouchbutt said...

Let me make sure I have this right...very gay, very drunk, very shirtless entertaining viewing, and yet it's not the one picture you managed to take? Please surrender your homosexual membership immediately. The bouncers will escort you to the door.

I echo what Limecrete said. I've really enjoyed hearing about this and seeing the pictures. It sounds like it was a blast.

Popcultureboy said...

I know I know but by that time I too was very drunk and wasn't terribly sure where my camera even was. Silly me.

Eric said...

Oh.My.God. Now I know what a lesbian version of Popcultureboy looks like! I LURV IT!
And I love you.
Great series.