Saturday, August 19, 2006

"Like Red Eye, only with snakes"

Which is probably how the pitch to New Line went for this hysterically improbable, ultimately joyous cinematic experience. Yes, Snakes On A Plane, the dumbest titled and most hyped film in some time has finally arrived. And it more than lives up to its expectations.

Now, there are movies which are so bad, they're good. I love those movies. My guilty pleasure list runs long but to give two of the best examples, I unashamedly own the DVDs of Deep Blue Sea and xXx. So, my anticipation for this movie wasn't exactly based on its artistic merit. I wanted paper thin characters, bad dialogue, some nudity, some action, and bucketloads of unpleasant death sequences. Check, check, check, check, check. Awesome. In the so-bad-they're-good genre, Snakes On A Plane is so fabulously silly it's downright fantastic. In other words, this is the Citizen Kane of guilty pleasures.

Casting wise, I only knew that Samuel L Jackson (who I hate) and that cute Aussie guy from that awful Wolf Creek were in it. So I got very over excited during the opening credits to find out it also had Julianna Margulies AND Bobby Cannavale in it. I have loved Julianna since she was Nurse Hathaway, so I initially found her straightened hair alarming. And as for Bobby Cannavale, well he could make me his bitch any day of the week and twice on Sunday. Anyway, I digress.

Plot wise, who CARES? The film can't even be bothered to go into exactly how the titular snakes are smuggled on to the aforementioned plane, so I can't be fagged to tell you why they were put there. All you need to know is there's a lot of them. And they're pissed. And they escape. Mayhem ensues. A mayhem that is the most fun to watch, I can't even tell you. Characters you don't care about are offed in a variety of truly nasty ways (all variations on a theme for the most part, though the guy trampled to death via a stiletto heel to the ear was pretty unsavory). 90% of the characters they bothered to give paper thin characterisations too all make it to the end credits still breathing. The 10% that get culled, you pretty much want them to be eaten alive (except for the honeymooning couple, that was mean). So there you have it. If you want something deep and meaningful or you have an inability to suspend disbelief, then this is not for you. If however, like myself and Mr Mancuso you just love this kind of shit (and make no mistake, it's shit but it's GOOD shit), then get thee to the cinema. I might even go again.


Grouchbutt said...

Enough is enough! I have had it with these motherfucking blogs about these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane!

Sorry...just wanted to try that line out.

I may have to break my "no movie theaters again ever" vow early for this. So far, I've heard nothing but raves about how much fun it is.

Reel Fanatic said...

Cmon now, is it really possible to hate Sam Jackson? Sure, he's made some bad movies, but overall he's just a bad dude .. as for Snakes, I'm finally gonna get to see it today, and hope I have just as much fun with it as you did

dirk.mancuso said...

Spot on review. And I too was a bit taken aback but Ms. Margulies' hair, but dammit, I just love her. She is a great strong (albeit paper thin) character.

And yeah -- I may have to go again too...

Eric said...

See, my problem is that, growing up surrounded by snakes, I can't be bothered to be stimulate or titilated by their presence in a film.
They just...bore me. I love some Sam Jackson (I mean, is there a blacker black man? And I mean that in a good Shaft sort of way). But it's snakes. On a plane.