PCB's Television Round-Up 2008. Part 2

Prison Break

Oh dear. The show got off to a very bad start when Sarah Wayne Callies' decision not to return forced the writers to give Sarah Tancredi an offscreen death. It did not pick up from there. The show has never really been remotely interested in realism but the third season of Prison Break showed that this was a neat idea that had been stretched to breaking point and far far beyond. Factored into that are stupid things like Michael being banged up in Panama, a country where it's always 80 degrees with 90% humidity, but wearing a long sleeved shirt the whole time because the make up for his tattoos takes too long.

Strike shortened to just 13 episodes, it seemed to go on and on forever, as they tried to break out of another prison and I failed to care. I don't think the cast did either, as the acting was terrible, with Jodi Heap O'Crap giving the worst performance in a sea of bad performances. After the stakes uppingly great second season, this was a crashing disappointment. The announcement that there will be a fourth season and that Callies is back on the show (Tancredi's death will be revealed to have been staged) is an even worse decision than letting her leave in the fucking first place. I'll probably still watch it.

Heroes

Maybe because by the time I saw the second season, the backlash was in full effect to the degree that Tim Kring had publicly apologised to fans that the sophomore season wasn't up to scratch. Or maybe it's that I watched the whole season in one big chunk rather than week to week. Whatever it was, I did not think the show took a dip at all. Sure, the new characters in and of themselves aren't the most fascinating of creatures, but meshing their storyline into Sylar's made it all very tense. Some of the storylines seemed a little redundant at first, but they all were paid off, and paid off well.

The biggest problem I had with this season was the absolutely godfuckingawful Oirish family that found Peter Petrelli. Are there no actual Irish actors they could have employed? The accents and the acting (particularly from Katie Carr as Caitlin) were jarringly awful. Other than that, I had no issues with this season. Again strike shortened to 11 episodes, at least they gave the season an ending, and with Sylar regaining his powers, looks like the third season will be quality.

Bones

The season started out better than ever. With this show, it's not the storylines that really hold the interest, it's the characters. The chemistry they all have together is really lightning in a bottle. It's always fun to watch them, even if what they're doing isn't particularly great (and the storyline to find Angela's husband was somewhat irritating).

However, the uproar over the season finale can't be ignored. The opening episode of the season, "The Widow's Son In The Windshield" set out the overall villains for the season, a supremely intelligent and evil killer, known as the Gormagon, and his apprentice. First time the show has attempted such a storyline (the only other recurring plotline has been with Brennan's father) and my hopes were high that it would be done well.

It wasn't. The strike shortened the season by a full 10 episodes and so true justice could not really be done to the Gormagon's story. In the season finale, it was revealed that Zach Addy was the apprentice, while the Gormagon himself was just "a nobody" and was killed off about three seconds after he appeared on screen. For shame! Why didn't they extend the Gormagon into the 4th season and give it room to breathe? Why did they fire Eric Millegan and give him such an unceremonious send off? While the episode was nowhere near as bad as I had feared (the opening with the fake funeral was fucking dreadful though), the Gormagon denouement was rushed and unsatisfying.

PCB's Television Round-Up 2008. Part 1

Well the TV year is drawing to a close. Thanks to the writer's strike, the scheduling has gotten a little haphazard here in the UK so the 2008 summation may take longer and run to more parts than planned. To begin, I would like to talk about the two freshman shows that didn't make it.

Journeyman

First of all, Audrey Niffenegger should totally sue the creators for ripping the premise off from The Time Traveller's Wife. Second of all, there is no denying that the show took a little time to find its stride. But then all new shows do and once Journeyman settled in, established its characters and got down to telling its story, it was a really good show that had potential to become great. Sadly, NBC didn't agree and canned it. I guess it was a small mercy that all 13 episodes of the show's first and only had been completed prior to the strike. While the viewer is left hanging by the show's ambiguous finale, at least said ambiguity was planned.

The Bionic Woman

Which is more than can be said here. With just 8 scripts completed before the writers downed tools, this show never stood a chance. And that is a crying shame as the potential was huge. Michelle Ryan was very comfortable in the role, the supporting cast were all great (though I laughed when Isaiah Washington was killed off. I wonder who he called a faggot this time.) and there seemed to be multiple plot strands that would, come the season's end, be all tied together. What a pity that it never got that ending. The storyline with the other Bionic Woman now seems to serve absolutely no purpose at all. Frankly, NBC have a fucking cheek to put this out on DVD and label it as "Volume 1" when a) they are releasing all 8 episodes on that volume and we all know that b) they have no intention of there ever being a "Volume 2". Sigh.

Memorial Day blather

My blog has been awfully lacklustre lately. I've just given it a lick of paint to spruce it up. Not that that is the reason for its dearth of joy. The reason is me. And the reason I have been so blah lately is very simple. I absolutely hate my job.

I changed jobs in September of last year. Nobody likes being the new kid and so the first weeks were as tough as I expected. But then I got settled in and I grew to really enjoy the job and I liked the majority of my colleagues into the bargain. But then at the beginning of the year, there were some changes in upper management. The new people who came in then made some enormous sweeping changes, all for the worse. The end result of the changes has been that everyone is miserable and hates it but nobody in management seems to give a shit. I have gone from true enjoyment to not really wanting to get out of bed in the morning.

However, unlike a lot of people I work with, I refuse to just sit around and whine as that doesn't resolve anything. I am also not afraid to make myself heard. Last week I had a 1 to 1 with my boss that should have been for an hour. At the very beginning she asked me how I was. One hour and 45 minutes later, she knew EXACTLY how I was. Rather than be a tirade of negativity, I did address it all in professional and constructive ways so I do feel like I was listened to and some of the stuff I brought up has already been addressed, so that's good. We'll see how it continues, I guess. If it picks up or even levels off, I think I'll be ok to tough it out until the fabled b plan kicks into action. If, however, by the end of the year things are any worse, I'll be out of there.

I'm going to be kind and label this as "misguided"

Listen, I love Scarlett Johansson. I do. She's a great actress, she doesn't play the Hollywood game and she's an absolute raving beauty. When I first heard she was planning an album of Tom Waits covers, it made some sort of sense. Her speaking voice is deep and expressive, so the songs would suit her range. Also, Waits' material can have a flair for the dramatic that, reworked in the right hands, can be amazing (check out Megan Mullally's take on "Ruby's Arms").

Unfortunately, the end result is the aural equivalent of this:

which is to say, it's ill fitting, it's vaguely embarrassing and it's also murderously drab at the same time. She can just about carry a tune, but there's absolutely no range to her voice, nor is there any expression or emotion. And her voice is buried under bland and insipid arrangements of the songs, which do nothing to disguise the fact that she's massively out of her depth.

Since she's been in the public eye for some time now, it's easy to forget that Scarlett is only 23 years old. It's possible that she might have some people cut her some slack due to her young age. Well, as much as I love her, I can't do that. When the likes of Laura Marling, Adele, Mika and Amy MacDonald are producing infinitely more interesting and massively superior work when they are even younger than that, I can't bring myself to chalk this one up to naivete. Like Katherine Heigl, ScarJo has a huge army of very loud haters who will go after her for any reason (if you're feeling brave enough, check out the imdb boards for the both of them. It's unbelievable). With "Anywhere I Lay My Head", all Johansson has done is hand her detractors 50 minutes of very valid sticks with which to beat her. Shame.

A Day At The Theatre

Last Saturday I had a day in London to take in a couple of shows. One of them was courtesy of a friend who got me the ticket for my birthday, the other was me splashing out. I decided that, as I hadn't had a day to myself in the capital for what felt like ages, I would walk everywhere rather than take the tube. It was a hot and humid day so that wasn't one of my better decisions. It took 45 minutes to walk from Victoria station to the National, so praise Jesus they had air conditioning.

The Year Of Magical Thinking



This was the present. I really really wanted to see this when it was on in NYC but the run was too short for me to find time to get over there for it. While I was on my extended stay there back in 2005 was when Didion's memoir was published to much fanfare and fabulous reviews. I remember really wanting to read it but for some reason I still haven't gotten round to it.

Anyway, Didion has now adapted the memoir for the stage, handing over the acting duties to her good friend Vanessa Redgrave. Friends of mine who have seen Redgrave perform on stage in John Gabriel Borkman and Long Day's Journey Into Night have all commented how she is so much better than the rest of the cast, it's like she is in a different play altogether. Thus, a solo piece fits her well. More of that later.

The original book followed Didion holding her life together after, on December 30, 2003, her husband and professional partner of 40 years, John Gregory Dunne, died suddenly at their home while they were having dinner. Compounding her grief, their only child was lying gravely ill in a medically induced coma. The titular thinking is something Didion adopts as a coping mechanism, an "if" thinking, as in "if I can keep her safe, then he'll come back". The book ended on a note of hope, with her daughter Quintana seemingly on the road to recovery.

Technically, the play is Twenty Months of Magical Thinking as it is extended to take in her daughter, and her continued battle with her failing health. The battle was lost, (or as Didion puts it "she let go of the fence") to complications from acute pancreatitis, on August 26, 2005. I swear I read somewhere that Didion was not going to update the memoir when she wrote the play, but I can't find the article. It does of course make sense to update the play but in expanding your canvas, in order to shrink it into 95 minutes, then some of the original material is not going to make the cut. Some of the ardent fans of the book are not thrilled by some of the material Didion has chosen to excise, apparently.

Vanessa Redgrave is pretty incredible in the role. Her American accent was as bad as I was expecting (it was in fact the same mid Atlantic mishmash she had on Nip/Tuck) but it's my only criticism. At 71 years of age, this could be the pinnacle of what is already a legendary career. She has such an intense and mesmerising presence that it is impossible not to listen to every word she says over the course of the play. I defy anyone's heart not to break at the moment the magical thinking stops being enough and Redgrave wails in anguished grief that she "needs more, I need him. I need him back." The monologue is peppered with humourous asides to leaven the tone as well as reminisces of her life with her husband and daughter, so it's not all doom and gloom. The sense of loss and sadness is always there though, and when the play gets to Didion saying a last goodbye to Quintana, it's absolutely wrenching.

The play is simply staged, just one chair and four watercolour backdrops that disappear throughout the play to leave a bare stage. After Redgrave has uttered the play's final words and left the stage, a new backdrop appears. It's this photo:

Which just breaks your heart all over again.


After that I needed some air, so I walked to Selfridge's, just past Bond Street tube station, to treat myself to some girly shower gel and some manly aftershave. Then it was on to play number two.

Small Change



Hmmmm. I only went to see this on the strength of the cast. I have been a fan of Luke Evans since seeing him in Taboo but somehow this is only the fourth thing I have seen him in. And he's really hot. Lindsey Coulson's Carol Jackson was the best thing to ever happen to EastEnders so her being in the play was an added bonus.

I just wish it hadn't been so average. Described as Peter Gill's masterpiece of a play, it is a memory play, a chamber piece with just four characters and no set to speak of, just four chairs. I feel like I've been here before. It tells the story of two men who grew up next door to each other and were best friends before tragedy broke them apart and ensured that secrets would be buried forever and their relationship would remain unresolved.

Sounds fascinating, right? And it would be if it hadn't been told in such a frustratingly elliptical style. It is all over the place, jumping back and forth to tell fragments of the story in no apparent order. At one point, the two boys are laying on the floor looking up at the moon and in the same exchange of dialogue talk about how bright the sun is. It's not done well enough to be obvious that this is the collapse of several years worth of conversations into 20 lines, you just think the writer didn't notice he'd fucked up. Given that the writer is also the director of this production, I'd like to think he noticed.

Unresolved is also the keyword of the night. When the two boys meet again as grown men, the truth of their relationship begins to push its way to the surface but the dialogue keeps jumping back to when they were kids, larking around being told off by their mum and so on. It's an absolutely maddening technique that made me want to yell "for fuck's sake could you just once FINISH AN EVERLOVING SENTENCE?" and I somehow doubt that was the emotion Gill was aiming for. This was an evening that had it not been for the four stellar performances, would have been a total waste. Shame.

Her sugar is raw

A conversation between myself and one of my very best friends:

Her: So will you be attending the Sticky & Sweet Tour?
Me: Hell no! You?
Her: I'm considering it, but it's so expensive again.
Me: I know. Ridiculous.
Her: You'll probably change your mind though. You did last time after all.
Me: True. And that concert was.....not great. Plus, this time she's playing Wembley Stadium and not the Arena, so a decent view will be an impossibility.
Her: Oh. I didn't notice it was the Stadium. Well bugger THAT.
Me: Uh huh.

Something's coming, something good

I recently decided I hate the layout and colour scheme of my blog. It needs an overhaul, does everyone agree? The contrast of the white text on the black background is just too darn harsh, I feel. So a reworking is in the works. Any tips or suggestions or tutorials in working html code will be gratefully received.

Naked Farmer for May

I surely cannot be the only one who is terrified by the speed at which 2008 is whipping by, can I? The other day I saw a TV Spot for Iron Man and thought "why are they starting the campaign for that movie SO ridiculously early?" before the "previews May 1, everywhere May 2" line at the end made me realise just how NOT early the ad was. Anyway. I digress and so without further ado, here's the Naked Farmer adorning my desk for the next 31 days:

Hard Candy with a soft centre

Maybe it's because I was not expecting it to be any good at all, but the 900th new album from 1000 year old Madonna is really fucking good. I have only listened to it once and I still really don't like the lead single "4 Minutes" (and it doesn't really seem to gel with the rest of the album) but for now I'm really surprised at how good the album is.

iPod sadness into iPod joy

Not long after I bought my 60Gb iPod, Apple announced the new iPod Touch and the revamped "Classic" iPod, discontinuing the model I had just bought. Brilliant. They also slashed the price of the Classic almost in half, whilst more than doubling the lowest gigabyte amount you buy (80, up from 30). I was annoyed but I still loved my iPod and when my friend Eric bought a Classic while I was visiting him in NYC, I was jealous, but I still loved my iPod.

But lately I have been thinking bad, unfair thoughts about my iPod and how I really really wanted an 80Gb Classic. I think it heard me and one day last week I put my headphones in as I was leaving the house for my daily 30 minute walk to work and the sound came out of just the one channel. I was PISSED and looked into getting it fixed. Not cheap. Not massively costly or anything, but not cheap. However, due to my own idiocy when doing the initial charge on the iPod's battery when first purchased, I never got more than about 8 hours out of it, and sooner rather than later, that fucker would need to be replaced too. More cost. But, I have an iPod stereo at home which charges the battery when the iPod is connected and has no use for the headphone jack. So I rationalised it to myself and became a 2 iPod person. I have the 80Gb Classic for being out and about, the old 60Gb at home as my stereo.

I do love the new Classic. Having spent the better part of a weekend transferring all the music across and then the better part of a morning fixing the issues with the Cover Flow feature, it is now officially a thing of beauty. I also, as you can see from the widget at the top of the blog, got myself an iTunes account. Frankly, I don't know what took me so long. However, it could also be the undoing of me as something about it doesn't seem like spending real money, you know? It's like the one click purchase feature on Amazon, only so much worse. Anyway, the widget is there for any and all of you to cast your critical gaze over my musical tastes.

One last thing, I haven't forgotten about spilling the rest of the beans about my B plan. That entry is coming, I promise.

I HATE ITV!

The UK's TV schedules have been all over the place for the 2007-2008 season. Usually, imported US drama begins here in January and as we don't have hiatuses, they finish airing only a couple of weeks or so after their US run has ended. But with "no delay" deals on some show and then the writers strike coming along, it's all been a little bit all over the place of late.

Pushing Daisies is one of the few hit US shows to have been snaffled up by ITV and shown on their flagship channel, ITV1. The two other US imports they have that I can think of (Bionic Woman and Supernatural, both air on their cable channel, ITV2). After a lengthy ad campaign for Pushing Daisies on TV and in the cinema, it finally began this past Saturday evening and scored very high ratings for its timeslot. So how does ITV reward all the people in the UK who didn't grow tired of waiting and illegally download the show? They skip episode 2, jumping straight from the pilot to episode 3.

Their reasoning? Having purchased all nine episodes of the strike shortened first season months and months ago, they then dicked around with the scheduling until, too late, realising there are but 8 weeks to go until Euro 2008 means there is nothing but football on the TV for weeks on end. Their solution is to dump the episode rather than show a double bill at any point in the 8 weeks, which is obviously the most sensible thing, isn't it? Right after its premiere last weekend, they showed American Pie. That couldn't have been bumped by an hour or not shown at all in favour of a double bill opening? Come on! And for ITV to blame the writers strike is really disingenuous too. Within days of the strike's resolution back in February, it was announced that start up costs of Pushing Daisies (along with Heroes, Dirty Sexy Money and Chuck) and it would return for a full second season. So for two months now they've known that nine episodes is all they're getting. Fuck you ITV. Fuck you right in the ear.

Until someone loses an eye

So I have a question. When we were all watching Dawson's Creek, who out there thought that Michael Pitt would be the one to have the most interesting career? Who thought that moon faced infant Henry Parker had the chops for it? I know I didn't, my money was on Michelle Willams. But with projects like Hedwig & The Angry Inch, The Dreamers and Last Days, Pitt has emerged as a fearless and very talented actor. Go figure.

His latest tour de force performance comes in Funny Games, Michael Haneke's remake of his own 1997 Austrian original. I don't quite know why Haneke chose to remake and chose to remake it shot for shot as all that happens is the remake ends up being hamstrung by the same issues as the original, but there you go. The film focuses on a family who fall prey to two young pyschopaths who toy with them, torture them a little before eventually killing them. However, the film is peppered with ridiculous plot contrivances to remind the viewer that this is only a film and Pitt's character addresses the audience on a few occasions, making them (us) complicit in the film's plot. The film ends with Pitt staring down the camera and frankly, for me, that would have been enough. I didn't need the constant badgering throughout to remind me that a)it's a film, b)it's a film centering on the torture and murder of a family who have done nothing to deserve it and c) it's a film I have chosen to watch.

One level the film IS worth watching on is the performance level. The quartet of central performances are all outstanding. As the tortured couple, Naomi Watts and Tim Roth really go for broke and Brady Corbet, so sweet and innocent three years ago in Mysterious Skin, really proves he can act as Pitt's less intelligent sidekick. However, the film belongs to Michael Pitt, who is simply incredible as the chilly charming madman, getting the balance between creepy and camp just right so that he never lapses into parody and is never less than wholly convincing. In your FACE, Katie Holmes.

Broke my heart at the Funplex (yes you did, yes you did)

Dear God I love them so much. I have been really really looking forward to this album and it really doesn't disappoint. Every track is a sunshine filled poptastic joy, from the exuberant opener "Pump" (best opening line of an album in a long time - "I look at you and I'm ready to pump") to the closing bars of "Keep This Party Going", if you don't have a smile on your face and a bounce in your step with this album, then check your pulse as you could be dead. The bonus live track of "Private Idaho" made me shed tears of joy as I supressed the urge to dance down the street. Sixteen years since their last studio album, this is a long awaited and frankly joyous return, so welcome back, B-52's. It's been a dull place without you.

Spring Forward

The clocks changed in the UK last weekend and by this Thursday it was warm and sunny, so much so you could walk around in just a t-shirt without any problem. And then I woke up on Sunday morning to this:



Where I live in the UK, for some reason, doesn't really do snow. On the occasions that it can muster up the wherewithal for a snowstorm, there's rarely any coverage and if there is, it melts pretty quickly. So when I saw that out my bedroom window yesterday, I just thought "well it won't last". Then, three hours later:





Craziness. There's still some snow around this morning. According to my crazy roommate who has lived here for a decade, this is the first time it's snowed like this since she's lived here. I'm so glad there's no such thing as global warming.

April's Naked Farmer

See? Something of a come down from March's guy isn't it?

An Easter fright treat for you all

Madonna's new single is online. Check it out here. I don't like it, not yet, but maybe it's a grower.

What is NOT a grower is the absolutely Christing awful album cover she's gone with. See?



I would say something but every time I look at it, my eyes start to bleed. Woman, you're 50 in a few months time. Put your vagina away, lay off the botox and grow old gracefully, for fucks sake.

Oh my poor neglected little blog

I haven't posted anything since the beginning of the month! Well, this would be because I haven't really had anything remotely interesting to say and I have been totally defeated by apathy into the bargain. There are a couple of things going on behind the scenes at the moment though that I made the conscious decision to keep off my blog until everything was complete. I also swore I wouldn't mention them at ALL until they were complete. Since I broke that little vow and I am a big time hater of people who post shit like "there's this huge thing happening in my life but I just can't talk about it", I will most likely do a big blog catch up post soon. Right now though, apathy (and television and pizza) are winning out.

Oh and happy Easter!

I just hate Diablo Cody

I'm sure there are a lot of struggling screenwriters who watched the vastly overrated Juno and Cody's unjust Oscar win and were thinking murderously hateful and jealous thoughts. My reasons for wanting to slap her stupid face whenever I see it has nothing to do with being jealous. I just think she's a moron.

First of all, her reaction to the publicity about the million dollar shoes she was due to wear at the Oscars was hilarious. To think, the designer would use her for publicity. Shocking! How could they? Cody blogged about how she was pissed and felt taken advantage of and so she ditched the shoes at the last minute. It's a good thing she did, really, as those million dollar shoes would have clashed something awful with her $50 dress, rightly fugged by those fabulous Fug Girls.

And now, to commemorate her undeserved success for the underwhelming movie she wrote, Cody wants to get a tattoo. Of Ellen Page's face. Not the movie title or something understated and simple like that. Nope. Ellen Page's face. She thinks it would look great. What it would actually look like is cheap and desperate. In which case, it'll fit right in.

Naked Farmer for March

The hottest from the naked farming dozen on the calendar so it's only fair and right he's the man for my birthday month, wouldn't you say?

Hot Guy Monday: Javier Bardem

After his much deserved victory last night for his frankly terrifying turn in No Country For Old Men, what better time to celebrate the hotness of Javier? There's just something about him that makes me go all weak in the knees and even though he's not classically good looking or anything, he's so rugged and masculine and indeed hot, that I would touch my toes for him pretty much at the drop of a hat. Even in his Oscar winning role, saddled with a haircut from hell and a personality to match, there was one scene where he had just got out the bath after washing his wounds clean and I still would have totally gone there.